humor

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Empire: Obama Chicken for Killing Death Star Plan

It's 'obvious cowardice': Star Wars blog

(Newser) - Did the White House just make a grave mistake? After the Obama administration rejected a petition to build a Death Star, the Empire—or its tongue-in-cheek representatives here on Earth—offered a statement, Space.com reports: "The overwhelming military superiority of the Galactic Empire has been confirmed once again...

Ellen Honored as Trailblazer With Mark Twain Prize
 Ellen Honored 
 as Gay Trailblazer 
MARK TWAIN PRIZE
Oct 23, 2012 8:07 AM CDT

Ellen Honored as Gay Trailblazer

DeGeneres receives top honor in humor

(Newser) - Some of the nation's top comedians hailed Ellen DeGeneres as a trailblazer at the Kennedy Center last night as she received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, the highest US humor prize:
  • "For a lot of people, Ellen is their only homosexual friend. She's there in
...

Ellen DeGeneres Gets Top Humor Prize Tonight

Will be awarded Mark Twain Prize in DC

(Newser) - Jane Lynch and John Leguizamo are joining a lineup that includes Jimmy Kimmel and Kristin Chenoweth to honor Ellen DeGeneres with the nation's top humor prize in Washington tonight. The Kennedy Center is awarding DeGeneres the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, which honors Mark Twain's tradition of...

Badass Hillary Never ... Sweats?

'No matter how high the heat,' writes traveling reporter

(Newser) - Just when you thought she couldn't get any cooler , it turns out Hillary Clinton apparently isn't even subject to normal bodily functions. The secretary of state doesn't sweat, according to a reporter from Condé Nast Traveler who went to Asia with her. "No matter how high...

Jimmy Kimmel's New Toy: Bawling 'Boehner Baby'

'Everything makes him cry'

(Newser) - John Boehner wept again at yesterday's Congressional Gold Medal ceremony for Italian artist Constantino Brumidi—a man who, as Jimmy Kimmel points out, died more than 100 years ago. That didn't stop Boehner's tears, which have inspired a brand-new doll: the Boehner Baby, which Kimmel advertised in...

Saying 'Vagina' Should Totally Be Illegal

Michigan lawmaker proves need for new bill: Dahlia Lithwick

(Newser) - A Michigan lawmaker last week had the audacity to utter the word "vagina" on the House floor, prompting a ban on Rep. Lisa Brown talking at all. It's time to go a step further, writes Dahlia Lithwick at Slate : Let's make it illegal for women to utter...

17 Hilarious Super PAC Names

Including: Raptors for Jesus

(Newser) - Stephen Colbert launched the first satirical super PAC—"Americans for a Better Tomorrow, Tomorrow— but he's got a growing amount of company, especially since it's relatively simple to register a super PAC with the FEC. A sampling of Politico's favorites:

Ellen DeGeneres to Get Twain Humor Prize

Her only question: 'Why didn't I get this sooner?'

(Newser) - Ellen DeGeneres is following in the footsteps of Bill Cosby and Tina Fey: She's this year's recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, E! Online reports. DeGeneres' "special brand of humor has allowed us to find hilarity in the mundane and has kept us laughing...

Maybe It's Time to Get Over Shakespeare

Alexandra Petri wonders if the Bard should be, or not be, our literary touchstone

(Newser) - Is Shakespeare still relevant today? Before you answer, consider how many of his plays would be ruined by the addition of cellphones, writes Alexandra Petri of the Washington Post . "Soon, if we do a modern staging, we'll have to stipulate that, 'In fair Verona, where we lay...

Miss Piggy Rips Fox News
 Miss Piggy 
 Rips Fox News 
Jan 30, 2012 10:41 AM CST

Miss Piggy Rips Fox News

Channel called Muppets "anti-oil"

(Newser) - The Muppets are firing back at Fox News' claim their new movie is anti-oil . Asked about the accusation at a UK press conference, the Huffington Post reports that Kermit the Frog called the notion "categorically not true. If we had some problem with oil companies, why would we have...

Google Maps Advises Against Mordor Visits

Try searching for walking directions from the Shire

(Newser) - With The Hobbit trailer out , some among us may feel inspired to risk the trek to Mordor. But if you look for walking directions to it from the Shire on Google Maps, you'll be greeted with a warning: "Use caution—One does not simply walk into Mordor."...

Gay Group 'Sorry' for Killing Lawmaker's Marriage

Pens sarcastic letter after affair prompts gay marriage opponent Amy Koch to quit

(Newser) - After a married Minnesota state senator was caught in an "inappropriate relationship" with a male staffer, she quit her post as majority leader. And because Amy Koch was a staunch opponent of gay marriage who had pushed to amend the state constitution toward that end, the local gay community...

Rick Perry Ad Inspires Wave of Parodies

Atheists, rabbis, National Lampoon ridicule 'Strong' spot

(Newser) - If all press is good press, then Rick Perry's in luck. His "Strong" campaign ad — now the most-"disliked" campaign video on YouTube—certainly has people talking. Its message about gays in the military, prayer in schools, and the "War on Christmas" has inspired a wealth...

Airline 'Seat-Selling' Deal Tweaks Blago

Skip town for $14 before ex-guv does 14 years

(Newser) - Rod Blagojevich is going to prison , and what better way to honor the former governor than by selling seats. No, not Senate seats, airline seats. Shortly after Blagojevich's sentencing , Spirit Airlines launched a "seat-selling" sale, the AP reports. Customers can escape Chicago for just $14—equivalent to the...

Will Ferrell Awarded Twain Humor Prize

...before dropping it on the floor

(Newser) - Last year, it was Tina Fey ; this year, Will Ferrell rocked the Kennedy Center as he won the prestigious Mark Twain Prize for American Humor last night. The star-studded gala saw speeches from celebrities as diverse as Ben Stiller, Ed Asner, Molly Shannon, and Gwen Ifill, the Washington Post reports....

10 Really Relevant Halloween Costumes

Want people to talk about your outfit? Start here

(Newser) - Why dress up as a maid or a construction worker when you can instead construct a Halloween costume that’s relevant to our times? Time offers up a list of ideas, complete with instructions:
  • Pregnant Beyonce: Grab yourself a fake baby bump (unless, of course, you’re already pregnant) and
...

Fired Twitter Ghostwriter Gets Hilarious Revenge

Ex-boss never changed account password

(Newser) - If you’re going to fire the guy who ghostwrites your tweets, it’s probably best to change your password. Otherwise, that fired employee might just log in to your account to take his revenge. That’s what appears to have happened to one Mark Davidson, an "Internet sales...

Starbucks Fires Steamed Barista for Video Rant

Calls song 'teachable moment' for company

(Newser) - A California Starbucks worker was sent packing after posting a video rant about his job—in song form. Christopher Cristwell took his guitar to YouTube to air his venti-sized frustrations; the clip was picked up by a Starbucks blog and he lost his job, the Merced Sun-Star reports. Among the...

Larry David: I'm Terrible at Golf


 Note to Self: 
 I'm Hopeless 
 at Golf 
larry david
Jun 27, 2011 1:43 PM CDT

Note to Self: I'm Hopeless at Golf

Comedian comes to terms with his deepest flaw

(Newser) - Larry David has been playing golf for years, and now, he’s finally acknowledged the fact that he’ll never be good at it. But acceptance didn’t come easy for the Curb Your Enthusiasm star, he writes in the New Yorker . In fact, it was “the final stage...

What Are the Pentagon Papers' '11 Secret Words'?

Twitter users offer their best guesses

(Newser) - Decades after they were leaked, the Pentagon Papers are finally being released on Monday by the federal government—which originally said 11 words would remain censored. Officials have since changed their minds, and we may never know what 11 words they intended to keep quiet. Not even leaker Daniel Ellsburg...

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