What's So Wrong With Cheating?

America is shocked—shocked!—that David Ortiz took steroids, and disgusted that swimmers use full-body polyurethane suits, but “these steroided, polyurethaned cheating men should be our heroes,” writes Joel Stein in Time. “Americans are a performance-enhanced people,” a medication and surgery-enhanced super-race, using technology to overcome our genetics. “Having to accept the station you were born into is exactly why we left Europe. Also, the portions were too small.”

“We need to stop pretending we are honest and instead be honest about cheating.” We want to watch swimmers go faster, and we want to see hulking giants bash home runs. This fervor is just “a silly, momentary discomfort” with a new, body-enhancing technology. Should we deny athletes risky, career-prolonging surgeries? Should we make them wear old-fashioned wool uniforms? “Should we require them to read the books they supposedly write? Where will the madness end?” (More steroids stories.)