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Grandfather Writes His Own Obituary, and It's Awesome

Says his wife is now free to buy that mink coat

(Newser) - The latest amazing obituary comes to us from Walter George Bruhl Jr., a Delaware man who wrote his own obit before he died at the age of 80 on Sunday, USA Today reports. It's published in full at the Cape Gazette ; here are some of the best lines:
  • "
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Boy, 2, Uses FaceTime to Get Help for Mom

She was bleeding badly after dog bite

(Newser) - Bentley Toone, 2, had used FaceTime on his mother's iPhone to call her friend Connie Guerrero so often, Guerrero sometimes ignored the calls. But last week, "something inside of me just told me that I needed to answer this," Guerrero says. When she picked up, she saw...

Fortune Cookie Numbers Nab Woman $2M Lotto Win

Emma Duvoll says she may spend big on a trip to Switzerland

(Newser) - You may want to start paying more attention to your fortune cookies. When Emma Duvoll cracked open her cookie from Sammy's Noodle Shop & Grill in Manhattan, the lucky numbers on her fortune "looked attractive," she says, so she played them in the Powerball. "I used...

Runners Pause Mid-Race to Thank 95-Year-Old Vet

WWII vet Joe Bell was cheering them on

(Newser) - Runners in a San Jose race Sunday willingly added a few seconds to their time in order to thank a veteran, in a spontaneous and touching display that's garnered more than a little attention. The 408K Race is an 8-kilometer race benefiting the Pat Tillman Foundation, which helps military...

Couple Married 60 Years Die 36 Hours Apart

Ed and Floreen Hale were so close they could hold hands at the end

(Newser) - When Ed Hale asked his future wife's parents for her hand in marriage, she had just been in an awful car accident and a long journey to recovery was ahead. They said no, but he persisted, telling them, "I will care for her the rest of my life...

Your Earwax Says a Lot About You

 Your Earwax Says 
 a Lot About You 
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT

Your Earwax Says a Lot About You

Samples reveal ethnicity, possibly much more

(Newser) - Researchers have dug deep into the ears of volunteers to study a revolting but potentially promising new way to get clues about a person's identity and habits. The team of organic chemists says earwax is a "neglected body secretion" that can reveal a person's ethnicity and possibly...

Long-Lost Siblings Meet, Already Knew Each Other

They'd seen each other for years at Walmart

(Newser) - Buddine Bullinger, 56, has worked at the Walmart in Dickinson, ND, for 25 years—and for many of those years she greeted John Maixner as he came in to shop, never suspecting Maixner was her brother. Bullinger and four siblings of various ages were all given up for adoption at...

Couple Die Hours Apart, Unaware of Other's Death

Olympia and Michael DeNittis had been married for 67 years

(Newser) - A New Jersey couple that was married for 67 years died just a day apart even though each didn't know of the other's death, Huffington Post reports. Olympia DeNittis, 95, died last Sunday in Edison, NJ, after a bout with pneumonia, the Asbury Park Press reports. Michael DeNittis,...

Teacher Builds Quiet Fortune, Leaves $8M to Charity

Half of dog lover's fortune to go to Humane Society

(Newser) - Margaret Southern lived a private life in her modest South Carolina townhouse. She taught special-needs kids, looked after her ailing brother, drove the same 1980s Cadillac for years, and loved both her dachshund—who would bark without Southern's undivided attention—and the local minor league baseball team. No one...

Girl's Letter to Future Self Goes Viral After Her Death

Taylor Smith's letter inspires others, say parents

(Newser) - Taylor Smith died suddenly of pneumonia on Jan. 5, but months beforehand, the 12-year-old wrote a two-page letter to her future self. The Tennessee girl intended to open it in 2023, when she was 22, and excitedly told her mom about it. Instead, her parents opened it after her death—...

5-Foot 'Snow Kidney' May Have Found Man a Donor

Jim Gorbunow thought sculpture would get him some attention

(Newser) - Jim Gorbunow is thinking outside the box when it comes to finding a kidney donor: To draw attention to his plight, the Minnesota man built a 5-foot snow sculpture of a kidney in his front yard last week ... and named it "Kevin." Gorbunow's brother helped him build...

Dogs Use Earth's Magnetic Field to Poop

When off a leash, they align themselves accordingly

(Newser) - Early contender for line of the year in a genuine scientific study: "Dogs preferred to excrete with the body being aligned along the north-south axis under calm MF conditions." MF, in this case, referring to the Earth's magnetic field. That's right: When dogs poop, they position...

Boy, 3, Survives 5-Organ Transplant

Adonis Ortiz comes out of every surgery smiling, says mom

(Newser) - A Tampa toddler survived a five-organ transplant in October, making him the youngest patient ever to receive a multi-organ transplant without a colostomy. Adonis Ortiz, 3, was born with "short gut syndrome," meaning his intestines were outside his abdominal wall and he could not absorb nutrients, MyFox NY...

Lottery Winner Giving Away $40M Prize

Canadian wants to honor late wife with donations to charity

(Newser) - Canadian lottery winner Tom Crist says he doesn't need his $40 million prize, but he knows who does: cancer charities. The 64-year-old Calgary man has pledged to give the entire jackpot away to charity in honor of his wife of 33 years, starting with a $1.2 million donation...

Toddler Falls From Window, Is Caught by Passing Man

Luigi Barbanera hailed as hero

(Newser) - A 23-month-old boy fell from a second-floor window in Italy last week, but fortunately for him, Luigi Barbanera was passing by at the exact right moment. Barbanera, a former goalkeeper and current penitentiary officer, saw the toddler learning over the ledge and quickly positioned himself underneath, the Huffington Post reports,...

Goats Manage to Escape Avalanche
 Lucky Goats 
 Escape Avalanche 

Lucky Goats Escape Avalanche

As onlookers cheer

(Newser) - Things were not looking good for 10 mountain goats in the French Alps: As concerned onlookers watched (and videotaped), it appeared the Chamois goats would be overtaken by an avalanche. Six of the animals outran the oncoming snow, but four of them appeared to be overcome by it, the Telegraph...

After Guy Steals Their Tips, Workers Decide to Help Him

Nervous Dog owner, manager assume he must be struggling

(Newser) - When a man stole money from the tip jar at an Ohio coffee bar, the employees didn't react how you might expect: They didn't contact police, but they did start a food drive for the man. "We assume that if he was desperate enough to steal tips,...

MIT Researchers Find Doozy of a Tongue-Twister

'Pad kid poured curd pulled cold'

(Newser) - Go ahead, rattle it off 10 times fast: "Pad kid poured curd pulled cold." MIT researchers doubt you can pull it off, reports the Huffington Post . That particular phrase so flummoxed test subjects in a study of speech errors that some simply stopped speaking, according to a release...

Boy, 5, Gets His Dream: to Be a Police Officer

Morgan Steward, confined to a wheelchair, becomes honorary officer

(Newser) - Morgan Steward is confined to a wheelchair, but that wasn't nearly enough to keep the 5-year-old from his dream: He's always wanted to be a police officer, and yesterday, he was made an honorary one in Covington, Ga. "He always said, 'Mom, I want to be...

Mystery 'TipsforJesus' Diner Drops $54K in Huge Tips

Anonymous Good Samaritan leaving considerably more than 20%

(Newser) - Someone is going around the country leaving humongous tips at restaurants under the moniker "TipsForJesus," and the Daily Dot estimates they've added up to $54,000 so far. Think tips like $1,000 on a $152 tab—you can see pictures of the receipts on Instagram . The...

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