Get Lost, Benedict, We Need a Woman for the Job

Maureen Dowd continues her rant on the scandal-ridden Catholic patriarchy for a second Sunday, calling for Pope Benedict to "go home to Bavaria," while the church gets itself a "nope"—"a nun who is pope." Dowd isn't buying claims that the "sin-crazed 'Rottweiler' " didn't know about a pedophile priest in his own parish; "The pope is in too deep," she writes, and the church "can never recover" with him at its helm.

"The completely paternalistic and autocratic culture of Il Papa" led to crackdowns on nuns, abortion, and stem cell research, all the while failing to guard "the kids already under their care" from its own members. Enough, Dowd concludes. "The nuns have historically cleaned up the messes of priests. And this is a historic mess." For the church to survive, "the cardinals should send the white smoke up the chimney, proclaiming 'Habemus Mama.' " (More Maureen Dowd stories.)