Why Tiger Should've Slept With 114 Women

Tracy Morgan is disappointed with Tiger Woods for not sleeping with more women. “He got a billion dollars and only 14 women came forth? He should've had 114,” Morgan tells Esquire. He's “got a billion dollars. I'm ready to give him some. I'd let him suck on one of these titties.” Deadpans writer Scott Raabm, "No offense, but the world has seen enough of those titties."

After defending his status as a sex symbol, Morgan goes on to complain that we still even care about the sex scandal—“What are we talkin' about? Tiger. He's a f-ing golfer. He's just a f-ing golfer”—and Morgan was offended when Tiger “didn't admit that he's black,” he says. “Bullshit. Your father's name is Earl. Woods. And he drove a white van. He's black.” Think that's tasteless? Good. "If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny," Morgan adds. (More Tracy Morgan stories.)