Thanksgiving is about the journey as much as the destination, and by journey, we're referring to that important stuck-in-the-car time when you run down the list of topics that must not be uttered around Grandma. Maxim runs down the five glorious, hilarious-because-they're-true stages of Thanksgiving:
- Get to the meal: To do so, fork over $600 to get to a place where you will be chided for your pathetic job and pathetic boyfriend/girlfriend. Bargain!
- Make the feast: Mom gets up at 4am to start cooking, which quickly turns her into a crazed person. Meanwhile, someone has to make hot dogs for your spoiled, picky, I-hate-turkey cousin. That person is probably you.
- Suffer through conversation: Mom and Dad name every person you've ever dated and ask if they're married. They all are.
- Chow down: Someone says "I'm about to burst!" while shoving more pecan-topped sweet potatoes down their throat.
- Brace yourself for the aftermath : Your family, which has just eaten 47 pounds of food, marvels at the fact that it's the tryptophan (all .006 milligrams of it) causing the intense fatigue!
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