Craig Ferguson on Being Sober, Killer Ducks

Late Late Show host Craig Ferguson endured an Oliver Twist-like childhood, loves his newly earned US citizenship, and once was chased by killer ducks while he was on acid. In an interview in Time, the Scottish-born comedian dishes on:

• Alcoholism: "The idea of having one or two drinks bores the ass out of me. If I'm going to drink, I'm going to do it to get drunk. I remember talking to someone early on after I was sober about how I suddenly felt awkward at parties. They said, 'Well, you're supposed to. Everyone feels awkward at parties.'" 

• The Protestant and Catholic gangs of his youth: "I don't think people who are involved in sectarian violence are theologians. It was just about gang colors."
• The danger of his unscripted conversations with guests: "It's pretty much dead set that someone is going to be embarrassed by the end of the show."
• Those killer ducks: "I can't prove it, but it sure felt like I was being followed by them. It was one of the more bizarre and unhinged moments in my life. I got away though. They didn't get me."

(More Craig Ferguson stories.)