Elephants Humble Humans in Eating Contest

The fastest eaters mankind could muster were no match for the competition yesterday as Coney Island held its first-ever eating competition between people and pachyderms, NY1 reports. The trio of elephants comfortably munched a combined total of 505 hot dog buns in 6 minutes, while the three humans sweated and struggled but could only down 143 buns before the clock ran out.

"We probably got about five dozen down apiece, but the elephants, you know, they're just massive," one competitor said. "In one swoop they get about one or two dozen. You know, we can't compete with that." Organizers, who held the contest as a warm-up for today's 4th of July hot dog eating contests, labeled the defeat "a setback for humanity."
(More elephant stories.)