No, It's a Terrific Time to Panic

When the Dow plunged 300 points Monday, one money manager called it “the best buying opportunity we’ve seen in years.” Joe Queenan isn’t so sure. “The best buying opportunity in years is now 14 months old,” he writes in the Los Angeles Times. As the Dow’s tumbled past 7,000, analysts have warned investors over and over not to panic. Queenan has a better plan: Panic.

Queenan panicked at 9,500. “I felt like a jerk at the time, knowing only too well that … I risked missing out on that massive, once-in-a-lifetime rally.” Worked out so well he panicked again at 7,500. “I fully expect to panic again at 6,000, probably at 5,000, and might even get in a bit of late-in-the-day panicking at 4,000.” There are times for cooler heads to prevail. These aren’t those times. (More stock market stories.)