When Amanda Denis first penned an obituary for her late father, the funeral home wouldn't publish it. The Ontario woman's scathing "tribute" did temporarily appear online on an obit website, though that got taken down, too—but her screenshots of it have since gone viral on TikTok for what CTV News notes was Denis' "blunt honesty" in her patriarchal remembrance. "I am pleased to announce the passing of Stefan Harold Kandulski at the age of 74," the unusually worded death notice begins. "After suffering multiple strokes, one thankfully leaving him unable to speak, the abusive, narcissistic absentee father/husband/brother/son finally kicked the bucket."
Denis also offers thanks to staff at a hospital in British Columbia, where her father lived, for "putting up with this miserable human for so long," and to karma for "doing what she does best." Denis then adds: "Because he treated people with disdain, there will be no service." The Sudbury real estate professional notes that her childhood was filled with physical and emotional abuse, and that she felt she shouldn't sugarcoat her father in writing about his passing. "The man was just total darkness," she tells the CBC. "The truth needs to come out regardless of what it looks like."
She says that while she's not happy her father died, she was glad he "was no longer a part of my life—happy that he could no longer try and manipulate or try to speak to me." Denis notes her TikTok post, which had been viewed more than 33,000 times as of Monday morning, has drawn a lot of attention, the vast majority of which has been supportive. "A lot of it is people relating and saying, 'I have parents like this' ... or, you know, someone in their life like this,'" she says.
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One of those people is Kandulski's own brother, Ed, who had no issue with his niece's obit. "It was the absolute truth," he says. "My brother was a piece of crap." Although Denis doesn't regret writing the death notice, she does say she's open to anyone who has information that would refute the narrative she's long held about her father. "If there is one good story out there with regard to my father, then, quite honestly, I would be happy [to hear it]," she says. "It's horrible walking around the Earth thinking that my father was 100% bad." (More obituary stories.)
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