Got $6K? Buy Bullet the Potty-Trained Bison

The bison was designated our new national mammal this week, and those who are feeling especially patriotic (and don't feel like getting loaded on "America" beer) can cast their lot to own one. A Texas family is looking for a new home for Bullet, an 8-year-old, 1,000-pound beast whose owner wants to place her in larger digs so she can enjoy her golden years, WFAA reports. "I just think she deserves better—better space, bigger grassland," Karen Schoeve tells the station. "I just think it's best for her." Per a Dallas Craigslist ad, Bullet, who's said to be "tame and housebroken," is up for grabs for about $6,000, as long as the purchaser allows her to continue interacting with humans.

And that requirement is because right now, Bullet is basically part of the Shoeve family, even coming inside the house when she feels like it. "When she is hot and sweaty, she'll come in," Schoeve tells WFAA. "She watches the fish tank for a while. She doesn't mess up a thing, and walks around very neatly like she belongs in the house." Shoeve notes in the ad that Bullet also loves to "chase and spar" with her rider lawn mower and truck, just like a "precious gigantic dog"—though Shoeve does issue a caveat that Bullet shouldn't be left in the house by herself or alone with kids: "She is still a buffalo, after all." So far, a camp for autistic kids is mulling over the purchase, and Shoeve and her family are enjoying their final days with their bison buddy. (If you end up buying Bullet, you may not be able to take a selfie with her, per the Washington Post.)