Mac and Cheese Meltdown: 5 Craziest Crimes of Week

The perfect Portland crime and two very hungry men factor into the weirdest crime stories of the week:

• Student Arrested After Epic Comfort-Food Meltdown: A 19-year-old University of Connecticut student was arrested after a drunken argument over mac and cheese. Luke Gatti—who was allegedly intoxicated and carrying a container of alcohol—was captured in a now-viral video of the incident, in which he tried to purchase mac and cheese at a campus eatery. He was recorded saying some very belligerent lines to eatery workers.
• It Makes Perfect Sense a Tofu Crime Happened in Portland: The hapless driver of a refrigerated truck for a Seattle natural-foods wholesaler reported his tofu-laden vehicle stolen after he made a stop at a Safeway. The truck was found, but without the tofu—or the other tasty organic item that had been in there before the trucknapping.

• Police Find 'Too High' Man Surrounded by Snacks: Ohio police didn't need CSI to figure out what happened when they responded to an emergency call from an Austintown home. They say they found a 22-year-old man curled in the fetal position on the floor. He had allegedly called police to report he was "too high," and police say he was surrounded by Doritos. But that wasn't all.
• Woman Dials 911 Over Roommate Problems: Junes Rose Gines of West Palm Beach was arrested after calling 911 three times in quick succession to say that she wanted her roommate arrested for "bothering her" by turning the lights on and off and knocking on her door. What the 20-year-old did after police showed up is dumbfounding.
• Florida Residents Call Cops Over Eaten Mail: Pursuant to 18 USC 1702, it's illegal to open mail that doesn't belong to you—or to devour it, we assume. Residents of Sanford, Fla., were forced to place a call to local authorities when they spotted Zeek chowing down on their correspondence. They'll probably have a hard time filing charges against him, though.

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