Truly Wild Wedding: 5 Craziest Crimes of Week

Two separately asinine airport incidents are among the weirdest crime stories of the week:

• Airport Pro Tip No. 1: Don't Tell Bomb Jokes: A neurosurgeon who was trying to fly out of Miami International Airport has learned ticket agents there don't appreciate a good high-explosives joke. Manuel Alvarado's off-the-cuff remark caused major flight delays and a massive police response when the incident happened in October. He says he's extremely sorry for his goof, and formal charges won't be pressed—but he has to pay an astounding monetary amount for his transgression.
• Airport Pro Tip No. 2: Liquid Drug Does Not Resemble Rum: A Georgia man who allegedly tried to smuggle four duty-free bottles of supposed rum through customs at JFK Airport had the misfortune of running into agents who know what rum looks like. The batch Wilton Sinclair was carrying seemed to be a little too syrupy, so agents opened the bottles and detected a chemical odor; tests showed the "rum" to be the liquid version of something else entirely (hint: It had a reported street value of $310,000).

• Worst Wedding Ever?: We would say it's at least a contender if six police units had to show up. The Australian nuptials were crashed by cops who struggled to get the inebriated, unruly crowd under control. The wedding party got into a brawl, the groom and best man were arrested, the maid of honor was given a warning, and the bride ended up spending the night in an unexpected place.
• Speaking of Things Gone Wrong in Australia ... : It's tough to hold a funeral when someone's driven off with the body. That's apparently what happened at a recent memorial in Australia. Shortly before the event, a funeral home worker was getting the hearse ready when "this guy jumped out of the bushes, jumped straight into the hearse, and started it up," the sister-in-law of deceased human-rights lawyer Seth Richardson says. Richardson's brother called police, and from there, things got even weirder.
• Cops: Man Stabbed for Eating Holiday Meal Early: Who doesn't want to share a holiday dinner with loved ones? And who doesn't want to stab those loved ones if they start noshing a little early? Oh, wait—practically no one. Except maybe Jacklyn Blake of Wilkes-Barre, Pa., who cops say became enraged when she woke up from her Thanksgiving Day nap to find her boyfriend had started the meal without her and attacked him with a knife. Her boyfriend offered an explanation for why she needed the extra sleep.

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