Why You Should Never Use Wife's Urine for a Drug Test

Two tales of men accused of trying to cheat drug and alcohol tests, neither of which ends well:

• Congratulations: A bus driver in Egypt provided his wife's urine to avoid a drug test, which officials know because tests revealed it belonged to someone two months' pregnant, reports the BBC. This turned out to be news to the driver. Before letting him know, authorities asked him to confirm that the urine was his own, and he did so. No word on the ramifications, but he's presumably no longer a bus driver.
• DWI test: Police in Tarrytown, NY, say a 40-year-old man arrested on drunken-driving charges was in the police station as his DWI test results were printing out—so he grabbed the paper and tried to eat it, reports AP. Add obstructing governmental administration and criminal tampering to the charges. Not surprisingly, those results came in at 0.13%, above the legal limit, reports the Journal News.

(More weird crimes stories.)