Would-Be Crooks Stymied by Door, Stick Shift

Two stories this week of would-be criminals thwarted by ... themselves:

• In Massachusetts, a delivery driver was delivering a food order when three men, one with a knife, approached him. They took the food and his keys, but when they got into his car ... "not one of them knew how to drive a stick-shift car," an aide to the police commissioner tells the Springfield Republican. They argued, then ran off; the incident is still under investigation.

• In Chicago, a man managed to pry the lock off the front door of The Shambles bar in Wicker Park early Friday. But he failed to open the door ... because he was pulling it, despite the fact that there is a sticker on the door clearly marked "PUSH," DNAinfo reports. He gave up; the incident, which was caught on surveillance video, is under review.

(More dumb criminals stories.)