Joe Francis Sentenced to Jail, Says He's Not Going

Your fondest dream has come true: Joe Francis, creator of that oh-so-classiest of franchises, Girls Gone Wild, has been sentenced to jail. Francis got a 270-day sentence yesterday for his conviction in a pretty crazy assault, but he assures TMZ he's not going anywhere. The sentence is "ridiculous" and "absurd," he says, and he's appealing it. It could take years for a judge to reject the appeal, TMZ explains, and Francis won't have to turn himself in until that happens. (Or he could win the appeal, which of course is what he predicts will happen.)

"I'm 100% innocent and the evidence showed I'm 100% innocent and, I mean, there's really nothing else to say. I'm 100% innocent and the evidence showed it," Francis said. "There's no way that I kidnapped three girls in this car, this very car. ... There's no way I've ever had to force anyone to get in this car. Ever." Also included in his sentence: a year of psychological counseling and anger management, and three years of probation, the Los Angeles Times reports. (More Joe Francis stories.)