GOP Has No Good Choices

Last night's debate threw the GOP race into focus for Gail Collins, and it predictably begins with her favorite prop, Seamus Romney: "Take your pick, Republicans. On one hand, the guy who once drove to Canada with the family dog strapped to the roof of the car," and on the other, the guy who "was defeated for re-election by one of the widest margins in American history," Collins writes in the New York Times. Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum spent most of the night squabbling, with Santorum proving he could bring up Romneycare "even if the subject was rutabagas."

Then there was the deadly dull earmark argument. "If the American people cared passionately about earmarks, wouldn't they have elected John McCain?" But cheer up, GOP, there's still Ron Paul—whose latest campaign ad calls Santorum's debt ceiling votes "not groovy." That's definitely how young people talk, smirks Collins. Finally, there's Newt Gingrich, who Collins now calls an "also-ran." Asked to describe himself in one word, he chose "cheerful." "Not an adjective you frequently hear when Newt is the topic, but you do appreciate the aspiration, particularly when Romney went for 'resolute.'" Surveying the field, she concludes, "Some choice, dudes. Not groovy." Click for Collins' full column. (More GOP debate stories.)